The disappearing man returneth, with all new easy-breezy abilities

On reflection challenging myself to fifty blog posts this year may have been a mistake. I’m not saying it can’t be done though I’ve got some catching up to do; it just adds a bit of pressure and if I’m ever going through a hard time (as I have been the last couple of months) posting once can be difficult, never mind once a week minimum.

There’s too much to go through in terms of what’s been going on in my life for the last few months and as usual I haven’t read my last post so I only have a vague memory of where I was at back then. I will come back and go through it but for now I’ll just summarise that I was in a dark place (not pitch black hopeless, but dark enough) and it feels as I may be coming through it now.

I had an interview for a job three days ago that is more of a side-step out of electrical installations rather than a full 180 in to a different career. The benefits of such are the money is comparable and my recent experience coupled with very transferable skills will stand me in good stead. I’m expecting a call back within the next few days and have my fingers crossed it’s good news. We’ll have to make arrangements regarding the kids in the mornings as there is a good bit of travelling and staying away in this job; the only downside observable from the offset. On the other hand our youngest is pretty much in full time nursery now and starts school soon so working away won’t be as difficult as it would have been a year or two ago. Also I think it could be good for me on a personal (though selfish) level; I’ll miss the family when away but being able to only sort myself before and after work will hopefully set me up with some good habits rather than bad ones.

I haven’t mentioned it yet in this post but I have been off work working on my mental health for two or three months and it has helped massively. I feel in a much better place but also I’ve almost reset in a sense and my outlook on a few things has changed. I still have the aim of creating a source or sources of income outside of work that bring me a baseline amount to build on but my focus at the moment is returning to work (in a job that suits me better) as soon as possible to earn good money. This money will be used to pay for the wedding and beef up savings. In addition I plan to use some of the money on a few luxuries for my partner, who has been incredible throughout the last few months, and hopefully a little holiday.

In other news I’m still keeping up with my Spanish lessons on DuoLingo and I’m quickly approaching a thousand day streak. And though I haven’t rejoined the gym just yet I do have the desire to, which is a good sign. For now I’ve been walking a hell of a lot (which has been great both physically and mentally) and even gone for a run on a couple of occasions though the ‘beginner’s after-effects’ have ruled me out of action for a while afterwards. I have written on occasion, though nothing substantial, and as of the last couple of weeks my mood and sharpness of mind have improved immensely so I plan to write more in the coming weeks.

Trying to figure out what I want to do, both in a sense of work and online endeavours, has been the main focus of attention until very recently. This has probably had a negative effect on my mental health all things considered but at least, during what I like to call my sabbatical, I managed to try a few things; some of which I can conclusively rule out and others that had aspects that appeal to me. I now have a loose plan of what I’d like to try as an online endeavour (or side hustle) but it will be treated as a fun hobby for now as it is something I enjoy and can learn from, if it grows in to anything more fair enough.

As I said I do plan to go back and touch more on what has happened since my last update and who knows, maybe in time I’ll be back on track for fifty updates in a year but right now I’m very relaxed about the whole situation and take what comes as it comes. Spending so much more time outside has given me a bit more of an ‘as the wind blows’ attitude and outlook; I really hope it lasts as I actually like this version of me.

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