I will never act like something wasn’t difficult when it was. It may seem an easy take and to many perhaps it would be simple but that doesn’t automatically mean it would be easy for me. If it was tough you should appreciate the struggle and be proud that you did it. No validation from another should mean more than your own. And when this is the case something beautiful happens; when others validation means less to you than your own then their negativity and criticism will mean less to you than your own too.
Let me say it again because this is of vital importance:
When compliments, praise and validation from others mean less to your self-esteem than your self-validation then negativity and criticism from others will impact you less too.
Do not let other people be in control of your emotional state. If so you will only be productive when somebody raises you up, and the other side of the coin means you will never get anything done when people who don’t understand your vision bring you down.
You want to know something that was hard for me? And has been continuously difficult for many years now. Returning to this blog time and time again to post again, knowing that I have failed to be consistent. I keep doing it and will continue to. Success is not a linear path. I am improving and I am further along than I ever have been.
Multiple times since my last post in August I have almost come back and posted but for one reason or another it didn’t happen. Whatever those reasons are they all fall under the umbrella of one; Me. There is no overlying fault greater than myself. Everything that happens in my life, even that beyond my control, is down to me. My choices lead me to the point I am in where an uncontrollable event affects me. Different choices would mean I wasn’t at that point and the uncontrollable event would not be on my radar. This is called control.
I am still far from perfect but I feel much more in control of my story than I ever have.
I am playing games much less (my step-son has got back in to Pokemon Go so lately I’ve gone out with him a few times playing, this game gets a slight pass as it gets us out, spending time together and active). I barely watch TV. I’m drinking much more water and much less pop, caffeine and alcohol. I’m eating better; less sugary snacks and fast food, and more vegetarian and whole food options (I still eat meat, just see the benefit of a mixed diet and eating meat-less meals occasionally).
I still need to exercise more but my new job has me working outdoors, doing thousands of steps and plenty of heavy lifting so I have a decent baseline at least. Gym is still on the cards and this is possibly the next habit I’ll be looking to cultivate.
The current habit I’m cultivating is what I’m doing right now. No, not simply writing a journal update on my blog. Growing my personal brand. This may be cringy millenial speak for many but it’s accurate and important. If you want to build an online business of course you can do it without a personal brand but by the same token you can run a marathon with no footwear on.
I am a writer. I love personal development. I want to help other people maximise their potential and lead fulfilling lives.
Without anybody to read what I have to write I will struggle.
Without anybody that needs help changing their life knowing I exist I can’t help them.
No man is an island. And with a circle of people that I regularly engage with it means I can help them, I can entertain them, they can help and entertain me infinitely more, I can have conversations with them and learn from people all over the world.
In my (almost) thirty-five years on this planet I have moved around a lot and made many more connections and friends than most adults ever do (largely people have friends from school and work and rarely make new connections) but of all those people I have met in real life there have only been less than ten that I fully feel on the same page as. Individuals that share my outlook on life, work, art, spirituality, philosophy, values, money, entrepreneurship. On social media you don’t have to look very hard to find thousands of people who share many of the same views as yourself.
That is why I want to build a brand. I want to find people like me. I want conversations that feed my soul. I want to inspire somebody to write that novel, take that trip, start the business, try a new hobby, talk to that person they find attractive. I would encourage anybody to do the same and hopefully our circles intertwine.
I’ve been enjoying transitioning from a consumer to producer on social media (it is still very early days) and I have had tastes of how fun and addictive this can be. This is my new game and like other games in my past I can get an obsessive, competitive streak and a real need to win. It won’t be easy and I won’t ever pretend it was but it’s all a game and somebody has to win. Why not me? Or you?