Heart attack was the verdict. Out walking his dog, sudden heart attack, no real pain or suffering. Although I don’t believe that at all, a heart attack sounds painful and dying alone on the cold wet ground sounds like suffering. It played on my mind a little that this man woke up in his bed and took his dog out for a walk completely unaware of what was coming. He must have made his bed being so sure he would be getting back in to it that night. Did he have something he was looking forward to on his calender like a birthday or meeting a friend? Maybe even something boring like a doctors appointment. Did he have breakfast, did he treat himself to something he shouldn’t really eat but enjoys, or did he plan to eat when he got home, did he die hungry? Did he know he was dying, did he say anything, like telling his dog he loves him? Maybe I’ve watched too many movies and that is not at all how it happens. I hear the bowels release when you die.
None of my friends seemed to have any feelings about this man dying. It was more about how Lana, or the witch as they preferred to call her, managed to kill him without leaving any trace. The general consensus was that we as a group didn’t understand magic or voodoo enough to know how she did it. I had a feeling like all this magic and witch talk was suddenly ridiculous. In years gone by or even at the start of the summer we would all talk this way and believe in it but now not so much. I’m not sure how much of this has to do with the old man that died or with reading Lana’s diary and getting a glimpse in to her normal, fairly mundane, life but I definitely have more of a sense now that what we see is what there is and the magic and mystery of the unknown is purely for fantasy and fiction.
Speaking of Lana’s notebook, I went home yesterday after Tara’s sister shouted at us and managed to skim read the rest of it. There were a couple more diary style entries but mostly nonsensical scribblings and doodles. Annoyingly it looks like all the juicy stuff was left out, or maybe it was ripped out. I had decided that later that night I would go back to Lana’s bin and try to find some of the missing pages.
“Bobby! What planet you on now dude?” Joey snapped me back to the green “C’mon man get with it, we need your answer to decide the vote”
I had no idea what he was talking about and my blank face told him as much
“Erin, the witch and Mrs Randall. Fuck, marry, kill” he asked
Mrs Randall was our English teacher and we all had a crush on her. She was only 21 or something.
“I said I’d kill Erin, fuck the witch and marry Randall” He paused to see my reaction before reasoning “I reckon you kill the witch you’re certain to be cursed but if you fuck her maybe you get her powers. And Erin’s just a bitch so that was easy”
I looked at Tara, Erin’s little sister, rolling her eyes then at Donny
“Lover boy here let his secret spill, been crushing on mega-bitch hard” laughed Joey
“That’s not true” spat Donny “I said I’d marry Erin because she’s the only one not like thirty years older than us”
“Boys are so pathetic” Tara said before standing up and walking away, little flock of girl friends following.
I was just glad the conversation was over. Donny grabbed a football and started doing kick ups before Joey stood up to and demanded a pass. I just wanted the afternoon to pass so I could sneak out and get those pages from the notebook. I just lay back on the grass and closed my eyes hoping I didn’t get hit by a loose ball.